Calling all joke and shoe lovers to shoe-tease.com! Are you looking for that perfect shoe pun, shoe joke or one-liner that can give a chuckle- or at the very least, a smirk?
If so, you can grab one of these favorite puns for shoes, which include jokes about boots, boot puns, sneaker puns and various other footwear-type jokes, like heels!
And don't you worry, if you're looking for quirky or funny shoe riddles & puns because you just can’t get enough of shoes, don’t worry. Shoe-tease.com is a judgment-free zone 😉
I’ve hand selected the best shoe jokes for you: from funny shoe jokes, to question and answer shoe jokes, shoe riddles, silly shoe puns to eye-roll inducing dad jokes about shoes, I’ve got them all!
I've also sprinkled in a sneaker, heel and boot joke or two so you’ll have many funny things to write about shoes that touch upon all types of shoes.
Don't forget to let me know which are your favorite shoe puns and jokes and I’ve missed any of yours. I know what my top 5 shoe jokes are; let's see if we share the same sense of humor!
All the Best Shoe Puns and Shoe Jokes
Why couldn’t the shoes go out and play?They were all tied up
What is made of leather, a foot long and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe.
What did the chewing gum say to the shoe? I’m stuck on you!
A guest who checked into an inn one night was warned to be quiet because the guest in the room next to his was a light sleeper. As he undressed for bed, he dropped one shoe, which, sure enough, awakened the other guest. He managed to get the other shoe off in silence, and got into bed. An hour later, he heard a pounding on the wall and a shout: “When are you going to drop the other shoe?” Thus the term “waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
Knock, knock. Who's there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wouldn't shoe like to know!
When we were kids, my brothers and I would race to put our shoes on every morning. It always ended in a tie.
What did they say about the couple who had the same shoe size? That they were sole mates
Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes!
What sort of shoes should you wear whilst directing a frog?Open toad shoes
Why should you wear good shoes in a fight? You'll never see de feet.
What type of shoes does a bully hate? A goody two shoes.
Why don’t you ever see a grizzly in socks and shoes? Because they have bear feet
I took a test on shoes. Totally laced it!
What sort of shoes does bread wear? Loafers
Which animal sleeps with its shoes on? A horse
What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Philippe Philoppe
Had an interview for a job as a blacksmith once. I was asked if I had ever shoed a horse. I said no, but I’d told a donkey to go away once
What do you call two banana peels?A pair of slippers
Think the local police horse has a dodgy shoe. It’s going good clop, bad clop
Who asked if it was better for a shoe to be or not to be? Sockspeare
Our local shoe factory burned down last night! Thankfully there were no soles lost.
I went to the School of Shoe Menders’ 50th anniversary dinner. What a load of old cobblers
Friend of mine is an expert in making clown shoes. It’s no small feat
How come Winnie-the-Pooh doesn't wear shoes? Because he has bear feet
How come all shoemakers go to heaven? Because they have good soles
How does the rain tie its shoe laces? With a rainbow
What shoes does a British apartment wear?Flats!
Why is it bad to work in a shoe recycling centre? It’s sole destroying
Knock, knock. Who's there? Tyre. Tyre who? Tyre shoe or else you'll trip
I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I dunno what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.
What did the hat say to the shoe? I’ll go on ahead, you go an afoot
Who is the most famous footwear philosopher? Sockrates
Why shouldn’t you buy Velcro shoes? They’re a rip off
Why do shoes always come in pairs? They’re sole mates
Son: “Daddy, can you put my shoes on?” Father: “I can try, but I don't think they'll fit me.”
What kind of jokes do shoelaces tell? Knot knot jokes
Jokes and Puns about Shoe Brands
When looking through the extensive puns for shoes and one-liners, I found quite a few shoe jokes that involve a play on words with famous shoe brands. Can you spot the brands in the jokes?
What kind of shoes does Captain Hook hate?Crocks
How do shoes talk? They converse
What kind of shoes do Geese wear? Duck Martens
What sort of shoes do artists wear? Sketchers
Which letter has its own brand of shoes? A D does
What type of shoes does Voldemort wear? Horcrocs
Where does the chicken shop for their shoes?Reebokbok
Best Sneaker Puns and Trainer Jokes
Who doesn't love sneakers? Well, hello and calling the attention of all sneakerheads – or those who want to make fun of them! Here are some fun sneaker puns and jokes for you to enjoy.
How do you make trainers out of trees?Wooden shoe like to know!
What does a trainer say when it sneezes? A shoe
A racehorse walks into a bar with his staff, but the bartender said, “You can't come in here with those trainers.”
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Sneakers
What shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers
What sort of shoes do spies wear? Sneakers
Boot Puns and Jokes
As it wouldn’t be fair to only poked fun of shoes and sneakers without adding a few boot puns & jokes in the mix. So here are some of my favorite boot jokes that also include some funny puns about cowboy boots!
What do you call a dinosaur that wears boots and a cowboy hat?Tyrannosaurus Tex
A man goes to a petrol station to fill up his car. The first pump doesn't work, the second pump doesn't work and the third pump doesn't work, so he goes inside and asks the woman attendant if she has her pumps on. “No,” she says, “I'm wearing my Ugg boots today.
A friend couldn’t tie his shoelaces, so I’ve sent him to boot camp
I’ve invented a boot made entirely out of Lego. When you stand on it, it doesn’t hurt, you just get a little taller.
A friend’s spot burst when he went to the pharmacist. Puss in Boots
I saw a man holding a boot to each ear.He was listening to sole music
The worst thing about millipedes playing football is how long it takes them to put their boots on
Was going to start a car football league but it didn’t work; they all only had one boot
Went to a car boot sale. No idea why, I’ve already got a car boot
What did the doctor say to the patient who broke their foot for the second time? I'll reboot you
Not sure how an over-inflated ego can make your feet sore, but when I saw the Doctor he told me I was too big for my boots
Puns & Funny Jokes about High Heels
On a shoe blog about women's shoes it would be a shame to not include a few jokes, funnies and puns about high heels.
Funny enough, there are many more types of high heels than there are jokes about them! Check out the select few, below:
Accidents involving high heels are increasing every year. They are at an all time high
My wife said I should get high heels for her birthday. I'm getting some weird looks as I walk down the street
Why do women wear high heels?It keeps them on their toes
The police chief asked, “Do you have any leads or suspects for the murder case?” The officer responded, “I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress.” The chief frowned and said, “please, just wear your police uniform.”
This is my wife’s first time in heels. She’s reached new heights
I went to a drag race last Saturday. I still can't believe the guy in high heels won.
My girlfriend was walking thru the city with stilettos on when a part of one gave out. She said, “what the heel!”
What do you tell a dog in pumps?To heel
What do you call a stoned wrestler? A high Heel.
What heels outrun all the others? Forest Pumps
I'm a man who likes to drive with high heels on. I call it drag racing
What do you call a dinosaur with high heels? My-feet-are-saurus
Final Words on the Best Shoe Puns and Shoe Jokes
After going through my extensive list of best puns for shoes and silly shoe jokes, which are your top 3? I hope they have inspired you to write funny things about shoes. Something we don't do enough of!
If I’ve missed a favorite shoe pun, or if you’d like to submit a funny shoe riddle, just add a comment, below!
On the lookout for even more shoe literature? Check out my shoe book reviews :
- It's All About Shoes, a fabulous coffee table book featuring street style captures
- 9½ Narrow: My Life in Shoes – an autobiography by Patricia Morrisroe
- In My Shoes – by Tamara Mellon on how she created – and left Jimmy Choo
And if you're curious about how shoes are constructed, take a look at my Shoe Anatomy Guide!