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Shoe Humor! 75+ Best Shoe Puns, Jokes and Riddles to Laugh at

Shoe Humor! 75+ Best Shoe Puns, Jokes and Riddles to Laugh at

Calling all joke and shoe lovers to shoe-tease.com! Are you looking for that perfect shoe pun, shoe joke or one-liner that can give a chuckle- or at the very least, a smirk?

If so, you can grab one of these favorite puns for shoes, which include jokes about boots, boot puns, sneaker puns and various other footwear-type jokes, like heels!

And don't you worry, if you're looking for quirky or funny shoe riddles & puns because you just can’t get enough of shoes, don’t worry. Shoe-tease.com is a judgment-free zone 😉

I’ve hand selected the best shoe jokes for you: from funny shoe jokes, to question and answer shoe jokes, shoe riddles, silly shoe puns to eye-roll inducing dad jokes about shoes, I’ve got them all!   

I've also sprinkled in a sneaker, heel and boot joke or two so you’ll have many funny things to write about shoes that touch upon all types of shoes

Don't forget to let me know which are your favorite shoe puns and jokes and I’ve missed any of yours. I know what my top 5 shoe jokes are; let's see if we share the same sense of humor!

All the Best Shoe Puns and Shoe Jokes

Text reading the best shoe jokes 75 puns and riddles under woman's leg coming out of hole in the wall wearing orange stocking and black slingback heel.

Why couldn’t the shoes go out and play?

They were all tied up

What is made of leather, a foot long and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe.

What did the chewing gum say to the shoe? I’m stuck on you!

A guest who checked into an inn one night was warned to be quiet because the guest in the room next to his was a light sleeper. As he undressed for bed, he dropped one shoe, which, sure enough, awakened the other guest. He managed to get the other shoe off in silence, and got into bed. An hour later, he heard a pounding on the wall and a shout: “When are you going to drop the other shoe?” Thus the term “waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

Knock, knock. Who's there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wouldn't shoe like to know!

When we were kids, my brothers and I would race to put our shoes on every morning. It always ended in a tie.

What did they say about the couple who had the same shoe size? That they were sole mates

Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes!

What sort of shoes should you wear whilst directing a frog?

Open toad shoes

Why should you wear good shoes in a fight? You'll never see de feet.

What type of shoes does a bully hate? A goody two shoes.

Why don’t you ever see a grizzly in socks and shoes? Because they have bear feet

I took a test on shoes. Totally laced it!

What sort of shoes does bread wear? Loafers

Which animal sleeps with its shoes on? A horse

What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Philippe Philoppe

Had an interview for a job as a blacksmith once. I was asked if I had ever shoed a horse. I said no, but I’d told a donkey to go away once

What do you call two banana peels?

A pair of slippers

Think the local police horse has a dodgy shoe. It’s going good clop, bad clop

Who asked if it was better for a shoe to be or not to be? Sockspeare

Our local shoe factory burned down last night! Thankfully there were no soles lost.

I went to the School of Shoe Menders’ 50th anniversary dinner. What a load of old cobblers

Friend of mine is an expert in making clown shoes. It’s no small feat

How come Winnie-the-Pooh doesn't wear shoes? Because he has bear feet

How come all shoemakers go to heaven? Because they have good soles

How does the rain tie its shoe laces? With a rainbow

What shoes does a British apartment wear?

Flats!

Why is it bad to work in a shoe recycling centre? It’s sole destroying

Knock, knock. Who's there? Tyre. Tyre who? Tyre shoe or else you'll trip

I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I dunno what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.

What did the hat say to the shoe? I’ll go on ahead, you go an afoot

Who is the most famous footwear philosopher? Sockrates

Why shouldn’t you buy Velcro shoes? They’re a rip off

Why do shoes always come in pairs? They’re sole mates

Son: “Daddy, can you put my shoes on?” Father: “I can try, but I don't think they'll fit me.”

What kind of jokes do shoelaces tell? Knot knot jokes

Jokes and Puns about Shoe Brands

When looking through the extensive puns for shoes and one-liners, I found quite a few shoe jokes that involve a play on words with famous shoe brands. Can you spot the brands in the jokes?

What kind of shoes does Captain Hook hate?

Crocks

How do shoes talk? They converse

What kind of shoes do Geese wear? Duck Martens

What sort of shoes do artists wear? Sketchers

Which letter has its own brand of shoes? A D does

What type of shoes does Voldemort wear? Horcrocs

Where does the chicken shop for their shoes?

Reebokbok

Best Sneaker Puns and Trainer Jokes

Who doesn't love sneakers? Well, hello and calling the attention of all sneakerheads – or those who want to make fun of them! Here are some fun sneaker puns and jokes for you to enjoy.

How do you make trainers out of trees?

Wooden shoe like to know!

What does a trainer say when it sneezes? A shoe

A racehorse walks into a bar with his staff, but the bartender said, “You can't come in here with those trainers.”

What kind of shoes do mice wear? Sneakers

What shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers

What sort of shoes do spies wear? Sneakers

Boot Puns and Jokes

I just wrote a post about different types of boots and one all about boot quotes, so you probably can tell that boots are important here at ShoeTease!

As it wouldn’t be fair to only poked fun of shoes and sneakers without adding a few boot puns & jokes in the mix. So here are some of my favorite boot jokes that also include some funny puns about cowboy boots!

What do you call a dinosaur that wears boots and a cowboy hat?

Tyrannosaurus Tex

A man goes to a petrol station to fill up his car. The first pump doesn't work, the second pump doesn't work and the third pump doesn't work, so he goes inside and asks the woman attendant if she has her pumps on. “No,” she says, “I'm wearing my Ugg boots today.

A friend couldn’t tie his shoelaces, so I’ve sent him to boot camp

I’ve invented a boot made entirely out of Lego. When you stand on it, it doesn’t hurt, you just get a little taller.

A friend’s spot burst when he went to the pharmacist. Puss in Boots

I saw a man holding a boot to each ear.

He was listening to sole music

The worst thing about millipedes playing football is how long it takes them to put their boots on

Was going to start a car football league but it didn’t work; they all only had one boot

Went to a car boot sale. No idea why, I’ve already got a car boot

What did the doctor say to the patient who broke their foot for the second time? I'll reboot you

Not sure how an over-inflated ego can make your feet sore, but when I saw the Doctor he told me I was too big for my boots

Puns & Funny Jokes about High Heels

On a shoe blog about women's shoes it would be a shame to not include a few jokes, funnies and puns about high heels.

Funny enough, there are many more types of high heels than there are jokes about them! Check out the select few, below:

Accidents involving high heels are increasing every year. They are at an all time high

My wife said I should get high heels for her birthday. I'm getting some weird looks as I walk down the street

Why do women wear high heels?

It keeps them on their toes

The police chief asked, “Do you have any leads or suspects for the murder case?” The officer responded, “I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress.” The chief frowned and said, “please, just wear your police uniform.”

This is my wife’s first time in heels. She’s reached new heights

I went to a drag race last Saturday. I still can't believe the guy in high heels won.

My girlfriend was walking thru the city with stilettos on when a part of one gave out. She said, “what the heel!”

What do you tell a dog in pumps?

To heel

What do you call a stoned wrestler? A high Heel.

What heels outrun all the others? Forest Pumps

I'm a man who likes to drive with high heels on. I call it drag racing

What do you call a dinosaur with high heels? My-feet-are-saurus

Final Words on the Best Shoe Puns and Shoe Jokes

After going through my extensive list of best puns for shoes and silly shoe jokes, which are your top 3? I hope of then has inspired you to write funny things about shoes. Something we don't do enough of!

If I’ve missed a favorite shoe pun, or if you’d like to submit a funny shoe riddle, just add a comment, below!

On the lookout for even more shoe literature? Check out my shoe book reviews :

xo ShoeTease